


Mischief+Glitter=One Very Angry Bat-dad

by robinlikeitshot



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Copious amounts of glitter, Crack, Gen, Humour, batfam, writing warm up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25413529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinlikeitshot/pseuds/robinlikeitshot
Summary: Tim and Jason have a little fun with glitter, and the rest of the manor face the consequences.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 100





	Mischief+Glitter=One Very Angry Bat-dad

**Author's Note:**

> this was just a silly little thing i wrote for practice, but i thought it was cute so might as well share it  
> Enjoy:)

"Drake!"

Dick winced at Damian's barely coherent screech, loud even from all the way across the spacious Manor. Walking cautiously down the stairs to the kitchen where the shout had emanated from, wary of any flying cutlery or food, he almost turned right back around when he sees what's waiting to greet him in the kitchen.

Half-convinced this was all a dream(half- _hoping_ ), Dick slowly walked up to the fuming young boy, raising a hand to place on his shoulder before retracting it at second thought, not wanting to get the glitter covering the boy from head to toe on him. With a sigh, he regarded him, "What happened?"

Positively steaming, Damian hissed out, " _Drake,_ thought it would be funny to dump this, this, _monstrosity_ on me while I was not on my guard. He enlisted Todd's help as well, and while I was idling by, consuming breakfast, vulnerable, they attacked me, taking advantage of my ease like cowards!"

The smoke emitting from Damian's ears would seem a lot more threatening had he not been covered in what seemed like an industrial box of super-strength glitter glue. Disguising his snicker as a cough, Dick asked in a voice too tired and Done to be allowed at nine o’clock in the morning, “Where are they now?”

Damian scowled. "They left via the vents. To cover their retreat, they glued back the grate so that I could not pursue them, knowing me to not wish Pennyworth's ire if found tracking this foul substance all over the manor."

Dick sighed again, wondering what his life was that he had to go track down his wayward glitter-wasting siblings before he could even have his first bowl of cereal. "Alright, you just, just stay here. I'll go find them."

Ignoring Damian's huff of, "The very least they could do is pick a respectable color," Dick walked to Bruce's study, coming to the conclusion that using the monitors to find them would be a lot easier than looking around the Manor for hours on end.

As he walked down the steps, he called out, "Tim! Jason!" No reply. Of course not. Resigning himself to going through the multiple manor surveillance cameras(paranoid much, Bruce?), Dick finally entered the cave, mouth dropping open as soon as he set his eyes on the sparkly scene before him.

Oh god. It was _everywhere_.

To make matters worse, Dick heard the small _snick_ of the door opening behind him, having been so lost in his shock he had barely registered the heavy sound of Bruce's shoes clicking on the steps.

Bruce couldn't see this. There was _pink glitter_ on the _Batmobile_.

He was too late though, and the sound of a cup shattering reached Dick's ears, causing him to spin around. Bruce was standing there, eyes wide and his mouth set in a thin line being the only indicators of surprise, but Dick knew him well enough to read them.

"Jason?"

Dick swallowed, not wanting to throw either of them under the bus. "And Tim."

The remnants of the shattered porcelain dropped out of Bruce's hand as his throat visibly clicked, and Dick watched in silent astonishment as he strode over to his suit, which had also been very flatteringly bedazzled.

"Get their suit trackers up."

Dick nodded, already trying to avoid stepping into any large piles of the goop as he made his way over to the computers. "And Dick?"

Dick looked up, heart thudding at the almost manic gleam in Bruce's usually stoic eyes. "Yes, Bruce?" he entreated hesitantly.

"Bring the glitter bazooka."

He had half a mind to warn the two troublemakers of the hell they'd rained down upon themselves, because no one should be on the end of Bruce's glitter bazooka, but at the sight of his beloved finger stripes completely covered in shiny red plastic gemstones, well-

"I thought you'd never ask."

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at robinlikeitshot :)


End file.
